A simple conversation now about childcare arrangements could be the difference between Christmas cheer and Christmas despair!

If you are navigating your first Christmas as a blended family or as newly separated parents, it’s best to outline your childcare arrangements over the holidays now and avoid it becoming a stressful and contentious issue.

It is not unusual for us to hear from clients in the days prior to Christmas, stressed and anxious because they cannot reach an agreement as to what the care arrangements will be for Christmas Day and the broader holiday period. Not much fun for anyone involved!

To reduce the risk of this happening, start the conversation early. The key is to keep what’s in the best interests of the children front and centre of the conversation, and find the middle ground that you as a parent can live with. In terms of logistics, you will need to agree on who has the children on what days and times, and what any travel arrangements will be.

Placing the children at the centre of your decision making doesn’t mean asking them to make the decisions, especially if they are very young. This puts them in a difficult position feeling like they have to choose between their parents. However, if your children are young adults and old enough to decide for themselves, then they should absolutely be included in the decision making process.

While there is no one-size-fits-all approach for families during Christmas, common approaches include suspending current care arrangements and:

• Splitting Christmas Day: one parent has the children from midday Christmas Eve until midday Christmas Day and then the other parent has them from midday Christmas Day until midday Boxing Day
• Alternating a 48-hour period: one parent has the children from midday Christmas Eve until midday Boxing Day and the other parent has them for 48 hours from midday Boxing Day; alternating each year
• Alternating weeks: one parent has the children for one week over Christmas, starting 22 December and the other parent has them for one week over New Year’s Eve starting 29 December; again alternating year on year. This arrangement can work well for families that live in different areas

Celebrating Christmas as a separated family doesn’t have to be stressful or less special. Rather, think of it as a chance to create new traditions that work for everyone - there is no perfect way to celebrate the festive season.

Communication, understanding and providing certainty about your plans will help you navigate conversations about your childcare arrangements, and give your children a sense of security.

However, if you cannot reach an agreement, get legal advice as soon as possible. Our team has extensive experience in negotiating care arrangements, attending mediation and applying to the Court for orders where necessary.